By now, everybody in Singapore knows the tale. Two special needs kids were found dead in a drain last week. Today, it was revealed that the father was charged with the murder of one of them. I’ve seen a lot of talk online about this, a few even stating they condemn the father for the crime.
If he is found guilty, the punishment could be death.
Murder is never ok, especially if it involves the innocent.
However, in this case, until there’s more evidence that sheds more light on the case, we shouldn’t jump to judging the father. He might be a victim in all of this too.
While I don’t have special needs kids, I am tangentially involved with their care. Or to be exact, my wife is. She’s a special needs teacher at one of Singapore’s many special needs school and I’m her sounding board (and sometimes the target of her emotional outbursts).
It’s a job she both relishes and hates.
I have heard horror stories from my wife about the kids she teaches and caretakes. Tales that would make you swear off having kids, never mind special needs ones.
Sometimes, she comes home battered and bruised, with teeth and fingernail marks on her body. Why? Something triggered a special needs kid and they lashed out. I’ve seen my wife depressed and dejected because of the kids she has to educate at work. Working with them is both emotionally and physically draining and it takes a heavy toll on a person.
That’s even taking into account her choice to be a special needs teacher and her love of kids.
Now imagine being a special needs parent.
You’re subjected to the same stresses as a special needs teacher but multiplied who knows how times. You didn’t ask for your kid to turn out that way and you can’t do anything but take care of them.
It’s easy to think of the father as a murderer (and he is) but there might be extenuating circumstances that finally caused him to snap. Everybody has a breaking point.
Until the facts become clear, don’t condemn the father for being a monster. Not until we know more at least. If it turns out that he does deserve all the hate, then by all means, flay the man alive.